Attract Women and Still Be a Nice Guy!

There are many pick up artists selling all sorts of advice about how to attract women and be successful at getting girls. While a lot of it is useful advice, it sets a precedent that one will only regret since most of the advice requires you to act with an external self reference; to act in a way that it not always authentically true. Here are the key factors that I believe are at work in attracting women.

1. Be confident

Pick up artists give you great openers, great ways to keep conversations going and great ways to close. What this does is take all the elements of uncertainty in how a man approaches a women and give the illusion of confidence. After doing this a few times, you begin to realize there are no life altering consequences to failure. Being confident is merely a lack of apprehension or fear in your actions. You can achieve this simply by looking at women as people that have interests and desires; not just as creatures you need to sleep with. Make friends with women even if you don't feel attracted to them. Before long you will gain a comfort with women and they will be able to sense that. You won't come across as a creep trying to say the right things to sleep with her and more importantly you won't be disingenuous.

2. Be a nice guy, friendly guy!


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The prevailing attitude is that women have no desire for nice guys. My question is, why would women be attracted to abusive men? It doesn't make sense. In fact they are not, the bad guy just tends to be more interesting because he at least gives her an emotional thrill. Women don't like "nice guys" because the typical "nice guy" is often the typical "boring guy." You don't have to be a douche bag to get with women. You can and should be considerate and respectful but you should not be boring. Nobody likes boring people, not your male or female friends. Being a nice guy does not mean: change your opinion to impress her, feel as if everything you do should impress her, not stand up for yourself, not stand up for her. That is not being a nice guy it is being a doormat and that will not be attractive to anyone.

3. Be interesting and spontaneous

People make friends by demonstrating social values that are complimentary to each other. You may not be making friends per se but if you want to be attractive to women you have to be interesting to women. You have to have some interesting hobbies and activities and be an active person. Don't do it because you want women to think that you are an interesting guy, do it because it's always good to try something new and it will benefit and enrich your life. Women will be attracted to the fact that you have a passion for life. After all, why would a women contemplate being with a man in the long run who is boring and stagnant.

4. Do things to attract her

Ah the missing link. If you do not do things to subtly send the message that you are attracted to a women then she will automatically place you in the "friend zone" from which makes things very difficult. Women seem to love having male friends and if you are too good a friend you will become indispensable and a victim of the cliche "I don't want to ruin our friendship". Women communicate in very subtle ways. Hold eye contact, gently touch her when talking, smile, use innuendo and playfully make fun of her. In order to build attraction you must flirt. Flirting is a wonderful little game you can play with her which you will both enjoy. I personally love misinterpreting everything a woman says and making it look like she is trying to get me into bed. It's fun because a lot of the things women tell men that are hitting on them, they themselves have no answer for.

4. Be a man.

You are a man after all so this is not a stretch. Logically, a woman loves to be in the arms of a "real" man. If you exhibit too many feminine tendencies you are very likely to remain unattractive to the opposite sex and annoying to your own. Focus on classic "male" qualities such as decisiveness, emotional stability, confidence, courage and self respect. Do not get involved in anything that undermines these traits. Steer clear of any highly emotional situations you may end up in with women and do not feel as if you need to impress her in order for her to like you. Women often try testing men to see how they respond in certain situations. Be aware of this and always remain a calm, stable, well adjusted man.

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