Best Way to Attract Women



Do you want to know the best way to attract women? Well, I wish I could tell you, but it's going to depend on you. And this isn't to say that there are a few billion ways to attract women, but rather that there are a lot of approaches and it depends on the kind of person you are. So, rather than give you direct approaches, I'm going to offer you a way to change your mind state so that you can use whatever you already have at your disposal--and you'll find that that's truly the best way to attract women.

First, what is the major reason that we strike out with women? That's right: we don't try! And I'm just as guilty of this as you are. But each and every time we don't make a move, we get upset with ourselves and promise not to do it again, but it's just not that simple is it?

No, because the issue here is confidence and faith. Lacking these two things brings up fear. Usually fear of two kinds: fear of failure (or rejection) or fear of success.

If you fear rejection or failure, you know this because when you think about approaching a woman, it terrifies you. You likely play scenes of her rejecting you in your mind. She tells you that you're so hideous, foul-smelling, and lame that she wouldn't even think about being just your friend in order to survive in a post-apocalyptic world and pours her drink over your head--before demanding you buy her another one, of course!

[FEELING NAUGHTY??] BECOME A ROCKSTAR IN BED!!

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However, in real life, she's not going to reject you like that. In fact, if anything, you'll be so ready for her to downsize you that you'll downsize yourself. For instance, I once asked a woman if she'd like to dance. She politely said no. And then I continued to say, "That's OK. I'm a lousy dancer anyway. You'd probably have had a bad time". And in hindsight, I can laugh about the unintended South Park reference or how pathetic that was on my part; however, it doesn't fix the fact that I rejected myself before the woman had a chance and when she rejected my terrible advance ("want to dance?" + an awkward pseudo-smile), I took it as validation of my unworthiness. Whereas, I should have taken it as a validation of my need to overcome some issues relating to attracting women.

But you can have the other fear, fear of success, which will sabotage you just as much. You know this one: it's a favorite tune of mine called bitterness. Why would I want to date when everyone is so terrible? Why do I want to both going through the motions again just to end up heartbroken again? What's the point? When you see a woman from across the room, you smile, she smiles back, you think about walking over to her... then your future together... and how she's just going to break your heart.

So, why bother? And then you scowl, and she gets really confused and frowns. You think about how rude she is and ignore her for the rest of the night. If you can relate to that, you know it's by far not the best way to attract women--in fact, it might be the worst way to attract women. (Though, a little bit of cynicism can go a long way, a lot won't go far with anyone not already really cynical--and do you need more of that?)

So, regardless of which fear drives you to avoid approaching women, the real question is why do you let it control you? In other words, what do you get out of this fear?

Generally, the fear of failure will save you from the instant pains of rejection; however, it also saves you from experiencing the joys you could have in a meaningful, loving relationship. Likewise, the fear of success (and the "inevitable failure" of the relationship) feels like it's saving you from more heartache; however, in causing you to avoid relationships, you're causing yourself the heartache you have from loneliness. So, neither are a winning strategy.

So, then what is the best way to attract women? Use the law of attraction to alter the ways that you feel about women and your attractiveness. Program in new ways to be around women. Change how you feel about yourself so that you don't sabotage or reject yourself--let the women make the choice about you. And do yourself the biggest favor of all: find women that are genuinely attracted to a person like you. Think of it like sales: would you try to sell tomatoes in a kiosk in the mall or at a farmer's market? Where are the kind of women you want to attract...?

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