Is It Only Alpha Males Who Know How To Get The Girls?

"Hey darling, fancy coming over to my place for breakfast"? He shouted and then they all fell about laughing. You know the type...big with muscles rippling under his shirt. Always standing in the middle of his guys, leering at women and entertaining them all with tales of his conquests.

Most men would probably want to be that guy.

You see, this man considers himself the ultimate alpha male and most guys would agree with him. Usually, tall, good looking and popular, he also has a vast selection of chat up lines, he seems to have it all doesn`t he? To this man and his group, he is the ultimate alpha male. And yes, there may be a few ladies out there who would fall for this type of character, but I would imagine that they would mainly be under 18 years old. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule.

So, I asked my female friends what they think of this type of man and if they would choose him as their hero. This is what they said.

"NO...not in a million years!"

I`ll bet that surprised you(if you`re a guy), because most men think that this "macho" type is the sort that mostl women would choose to be with. Not so.

As I said, there are some women who want to be with this man simply because he is the center of attention and will therefore always be in demand. But underneath the sparkle there sits a self obsessed dullard, who cannot interact with a women unless he has an audience.

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Ok, a little harsh maybe, but we are speaking from experience.

Let me tell you what we ladies look for in our "alpha male".

We want a hero. A man who is decisive but not in a controlling and demanding way. We don`t want a ditherer who cannot make up his mind which shirt to wear or which restaurant to take us to for dinner. Unlike Mr. Macho, he will treat us with the utmost respect and will have no need to prove his strength or his masculinity in a loud and extrovert way, he will be self-controlled and easy-going, but will not allow himself to be pushed around by anyone.

I have a true story that I want to share with you, by way of an example.

When I gained my black belt in Tae KwonDo, my instructor took a group of us out to celebrate. Now Craig(his real name), is a 6th Dan Black Belt and a VERY capable fighter, but could not be described as a large man by any means. As the evening progressed, one of the females in the group started to get harassed by a young man who quickly became a real nuisance. My partner Dave, your typical alpha male, made a big issue of confronting the unfortunate youth and probably a fight would have broken out had he been allowed to continue. That`s how the macho guys like to show their dominance, by making a lot of noise and browbeating their opponent. But Craig quietly approached one of the security team, had a few words and the young man was quietly taken out of the building. No drama, no big deal and no back slapping for Craig.

I was SO impressed I told all my girl friends. Do you know which of the two men had them swooning? Not Macho Dave and his silly posturing, it was Craig. In his quiet and unassuming way he had taken control of the situation and dealt with it quickly and efficiently. He could have easily proved what a tough and brave man he was by knocking the young man to the ground, but he didn`t need to. He didn`t need to PROVE how masculine he was, because he knew it and that was enough. He was an alpha male in every sense of the word.

By the way, although Craig is not tall or handsome, he has no shortage of female admirers. I was never sure how this could be - until that evening. Perhaps you too can understand why.

I hope this has challenged your ideas of what it means to be an alpha male. At least, in the eyes of a woman.

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