How to Get A Girlfriend - Dating Advice

From the tender age of puberty to the golden years, boys and men have always struggled in their quest for the answer to, "how to get a girlfriend?" It has remained a mystery for most, but the answer is fairly simple to understand.

Being successful at meeting women, requires perseverance, courage and practice to master this state of being. Whether you are looking to learn how to pick up women, how to pick up girls (for the younger boys), how to get a girlfriend back, or just simple dating advice, there is a unifying principle that answers all these questions.

The Secret

Here is the secret - women are not are not necessarily attracted to just tall, rich or handsome men. They are attracted to alpha males. What is the alpha male? The alpha male is a dominant male. But let me be clear here. A dominant male doesn't necessarily mean a male that is overbearing, controlling or obnoxious. A dominant male is someone that is confident in who they are and quite often, when they walk into a room, people can sense their confidence immediately. An alpha male is not only sure of who they are but also what they want.

When they see a girl or woman that they are interested in, they are confident in every aspect of their approach and execution of the opening conversation. However, the paradox is that even though they make the first move (which they must), they never pursue a woman. Let me repeat that. The alpha male never, ever, pursues a woman.

Pursuit - The Dark Side of the Force

Once an alpha male begins to pursue a girl, he has immediately lost the alpha status, and more importantly has immediately lost the interest of the girl. There are several reasons for this. The first reason is that, like anything in life, a scarce commodity is always of more value than an abundant commodity. In this case, if you are a man pursuing a beautiful woman, it is very likely that she has experienced this pursuit many times in her life. Then to have another man (you) pursuing her means very little to her. She subconsciously wants to be the pursuer.

MORE: [Instructional Video] How to Get YOUR DREAM GIRL in 2 Weeks or LESS!

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Another reason for female pursuit being detrimental to men, that are looking to get a girlfriend, is that even if the woman has not been pursued by a lot of men in the past, she still wants a challenge. She intuitively knows that if all she has to do is say yes to the man pursuing her, then it is a goal that was reached far too easily. However, if she has to pursue the man, then it took considerable effort, patience, courage and determination to reach her goal. Since our childhood, every person has grown to understand that things that are easily attained hold little value to us.

The things that required enormous amounts of work and dedication were always the ones that held the most reward. As a mother, I consciously, only gave my daughter one Barbie doll for Christmas one year. My daughter's girlfriend next door received twenty of them. The true gift in my daughter's Barbie was the fact that she only had one that she had to cherish. In contrast, her girlfriend's Barbie dolls ended up having their heads, arms and hair cut and dismembered within a month. So my point is, for a man looking to meet a woman, make sure you are that one Barbie doll and not the twenty that end up in the trash. You are giving the woman of your dreams a gift by not being the same as the other one hundred men pursuing her.

The final reason why pursuit is a bad idea, is that as a society we are conditioned to live lives of drama. To illustrate my point let's use the film "Titanic". If you are not familiar with the movie, it is arguably one of the most romantic movies on any woman's list and contains enormous clues as to what women are looking for in romance. It's the story of a poor drifter named Jack that meets a woman of high society that is about to be wed to one of the world's richest men. The setting is the fateful Titanic that is doomed to rest on the bottom of the Atlantic.

Not only does their growing love initially face a suicide attempt by Rose, but also the vast chasm between their social standing, and a battle against the nasty fiance and his bodyguard. To top things off, Jack ends up dying in the ice cold Atlantic. How much more dramatic can you get? Now imagine changing the script and Jack meets Rose, they fall in love, they make love, they get off the ship, they get married, they have kids and they live happily ever after.

That movie would have been over in five minutes, and about ten people would have gone to the theater to watch it. My point is that no woman wants to experience the second movie in their dating lives. If you want to find a girlfriend and keep her, give her some drama and don't make the movie end too fast. Don't make it so easy for her that all she has to do is snap her fingers and you go running to her to give her anything she wants. That movie will also end in five minutes.

Your First Step As An Alpha Male- The Opening Conversation

All right, you're getting the message, but now what do you do? To become a successful alpha male, that can easily get a girlfriend, you must not only have the right techniques, but also the right attitude. This will take a little bit of work. However, the good news is that any man can transform himself into an irresistible man. The basis of many techniques is to exhibit interest and detachment at the same time. Suppose you see a girl in a coffee shop or at a dance, then your first step is to start a conversation with her.

That first step immediately tells her that you are interested in her. There's no two ways about it, you might as well flash it in neon on your forehead. That's a good a thing. The next step is to show detachment in your conversation. That means that you need to show her, through certain words and actions that if she likes you, you are fine with that result. If she doesn't like you, you're ready to move on to the next girl at the drop of a hat. This shows her that you are not desperate and that you might be a challenge and that she might even have to pursue you eventually.

On the flip side of the coin, if you approach this girl with wide glaring eyes, your mouth hanging open, and she senses that you are ready to sacrifice your life for just one date with her, she will have disappeared faster than the Enterprise's transporter can beam her to a different planet.

There is lots to learn here, but here is a great way to start a conversation at a bar or a dance of any sort. Once you find the girl that interests you, walk up to her and ask her if she is having any luck at meeting men tonight. Tell her that you're going to help her by picking men from the crowd that you think will be perfect for her. Then proceed to pick out certain men in the crowd.

Use humor, by choosing some guy that is dancing funny or perhaps point out certain men that have been checking her out. Then flip the table and get her to choose women for you. The brilliance in this approach is that it shows her that you are interested in her because you started a conversation with her. However, the fact that you are offering to choose other men for her is not only amusing but somewhat disconcerting because she's not really sure where she stands with you. If you are interested in her, why would you choose other men for her?

The Gaze - Your Nuclear Option

But remember this very, very important point. Let me say that again. Remember this point. While you are talking to her about the other men in the bar, look deeply into her eyes, occasionally, as if you can look into her very soul. Don't stare at her. Just allow your soft, intent gaze to catch her eye once in a while. Smile at the same time. If you don't smile, that look may just be some crazed stalker look. As an actor, I have always been taught to find the motivation behind every action.

Thus, when you are smiling and gazing at her, you must have the proper underlying motivation. The thoughts that you are thinking while you are smiling at her must be that you are the man of her dreams and that you will sweep her off her feet. You are the god of dating and that you are here to rescue her from the drudgery of the dating scene.

You will treat her like a cherished goddess and with kindness, gentleness and passion. Think those words and they will come through to your smile and your gaze. Do this with great intent while you are choosing other men for her and you will have discovered the nuclear option in your arsenal of dating tools. She will be so drawn to you and off balance at the same time that you will become this enigma of the dating world that she can't resist.

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