How to Talk to Girls at Parties and Instantly Stand Out

Before I found the pick-up community, knowing how to talk to girls at parties was a daunting task that plagued me throughout my first few years of high school.

I absolutely dreaded walking into a friend's place filled with strange, new people, a situation that would immediately make me freeze up like a deer caught in headlights. I was the quiet one, typically tucked away at the corner of the couch, fiddling away on my cell phone until it was time to leave.

I had no clue how to even connect with the guys that were invited, so trying to flirt with girls wasn't even on my radar. A few swigs of liquid courage would loosen me up, but still, my wallflower tendencies culminated in me congregating with my close friends rather than meeting new people.

But after studying game for the past few years - and especially during my time in college - I've realized that parties aren't these incredibly hard, social mazes. In fact, parties are actually the easiest places to score - just as long as you know how to play the game.

Focus on Having a Good Time

Before you even walk through the front door, making sure you have the right mindset at a party is key.

If you go in thinking a party will suck, chances are it will. It's not the host's fault you're having a shitty time standing alone with your drink, it's your own negative attitude.

Countless times I've seen guys at parties just sulking in a corner because they aren't having a good time. Newsflash: you bring the fun, the fun doesn't come to you.

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Another mindset to be weary of is focusing too much on sex and picking up girls. Getting laid should be the last thing on your mind because, for some guys, it causes them to "over-game", earning them creeper status.

Going around a party and hitting on every girl in sight will get you blown out so quickly it will make your head spin. This isn't a sweaty Miami nightclub where everyone wants to hook up, it's a party with your peers so the focus should be on everyone having a good time.

Just having fun and keeping that mindset will make for better interactions both with the other guests and any potential mate you may come across.

Being the Life of the Party

This fun focused mindset is useless without action. So, whether it's a black tie affair or a grungy fraternity house, consistently getting girls at parties requires you to become the life of the party.

Unlike cold approaches or day game, successfully picking up women at parties hinges on your level of social proof among the people in attendance. If most of the guests harbor negative attitudes or no emotions towards you (even worse!), don't expect the hottie by the pong table to feel any differently.

The key is to be social and make friends with everyone there, no matter what. You want to get people laughing and having a good time so that when you do make an approach, she will already have a positive picture of you in her mind because of all the fun you are having with the other guests.

One of my favorite ways to amp up the fun is offering shots or starting drinking games, like kings or flip cup. Alcohol is by far the easiest way to get people into party mode - just don't overuse it.

Once you get everyone talking and moving, it's time to make the rounds and shoot the shit with the other guests. By not relegating yourself to one group, you can bring your fun and social vibe to the entire party, thus building your positive social proof. If everyone is laughing with you and having a good time, you'll have a better chance of receiving a warm reaction from a girl when you do make that approach.

Even if a girl is shy and sitting alone on the couch texting, by being the life of the party, you'll have free range to make the approach and will make the interaction less awkward. Your fun vibe should be so overt that it should make even the coldest person want to smile.

Another important aspect to consider is the type of party you are at because doing keg stands at a fancy cocktail soiree isn't going to go over well.

More "mature" parties require a subtle sociability, meaning you should focus more on witty banter and just talking with others. Ragers and house parties are different beasts, so anytime you can get people high fiving, playing games and dancing is a plus.

Regardless of what type of event you are at, becoming the life of the party is a must.

How to Talk to Girls at Parties - the Right Way

Once you've established yourself as the life of the party, actually talking to a girl is the easy - and fun - part.

Opening can be as simple as "so how do you know the host" or "wow, those shoes are gorgeous". It really doesn't matter how you open as long as the focus of the interaction is on having a fun time. Just don't get into creeper mode and hit on every female in the apartment.

As far as flirting goes at parties, it can be pretty straight forward or more subtle, depending on the type of party it is. If it is a classier event, air on the side of caution and use more witty banter or jokes and playfully flirt and tease. For ragers and house parties, you can get more forward and even a bit sexual with your conversations, just as long as you don't take it too far.

As always, kino and touching will play a major role, but because everyone knows each other or is connected through mutual friends, overtly escalating physically will backfire unless it's an all-out rave. Light touching coupled with a fun, flirty vibe will do wonders.

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