To Guys Who Want To Attract Women Online - But Can't Get Started

So you're new to online dating and don't know where to begin? Or you already tried to put an ad without much success?

Then the following practical tips are for you.

Before moving on with writing or responding to online personals, the very first thing you have to do or rather to be is to be clear with your goal. Are you looking for a "serious" relationship or are you looking to have some fun?

Let's begin with responding to online personals. Then I'll share my formula for success for writing your own personals. I believe you'll be able to write great ads once you become familiar with the "responding" aspect of the game.

Responding to online personals

A good way to start is to wonder what is the average guy doing. Well typically the average dude is qualifying himself. He tries to address every single trait that's mentioned in the ad. In other words, he's trying to please women, which is the cardinal sin in the area of dating.

What women tell or write is not what they really want. What are they really looking for? For them, ads are just a bait, a bait whose purpose is to catch the alpha male - even though they sometimes use an old noun, prince.

So what you want to do is display your alpha traits.


Challenge women. Make fun of what they wrote in their ad. State that you have an exact opposite trait to what they desire. At best it will intrigue and amuse them, worst case they will be offended and so you know you won't lose your time with a stuck up lady.

Call them funny names: princess, dweeb, dude, sexual predator...

What Can Help Me Get More Girls??

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Play it light. Most guys take themselves too seriously. You're not applying for a job with Pricewaterhouse!

Lead the interaction. Sure the woman gave you a bait by putting on an ad. Your role as a man is then to take the lead of the next steps. Tell her what you're going to do together on your date.

Don't be stuck up with your own grammar while making fun of her syntaxic errors.

Be curious about her but not too much in a business like manner. Rather ask engaging and light questions such as "if you were a toon character, who would you be?"

Try to guess what kind of woman you're dealing with by what she writes in her ad. You don't want to get stuck with a psycho. You can even ask her directly.

Online dating sites encourage you to give as many information about you as possible. Sure you don't want to just check "male/single" but you don't want to reveal too much about you either. As Swinggcat likes to say, give women the chance to want to reach for more of you.

How To Write Successful Online Personal Ads Starting From Scratch

Let's begin with some basics.

I tend to quote dating specialist Tiffany Taylor a lot but I believe she has some really valuable insights: "Whatever your goal, state it clearly in your personal profile and the chances of you finding it will increase tenfold. Also, when creating your profile, keep in mind that those with pictures are 8 times more likely to generate responses than those without. This doesn't mean you have to be a Brad Pitt to get the girls but showing your picture is a sign of self acceptance and confidence."

When stating your goal, do some testing. You can write for example "blonde only", this will challenge the brunettes and vice versa. Also, you want to make sure that the women you're targeting are located in your area. You don't want to travel a thousand miles just to go on a date. That's supplication.

Also, be sure to take a positive approach to creating your profile. Instead of telling everyone what you don't want in a woman, tell them what it is you're looking for. The more specific the better. What you focus on expands and what you don't want you keep attracting isn't it?

Still those are the basics and even with a clear stated goal and a picture, you'll stay one among the many.

Let's move into the heart of the subject.

Your first - dare I say the only? - objective is to induce women to answer to your ad.


Enter the concept of positive differentiation.

If you're trained in business or entrepreneurship, you'll anticipate what I'm about to reveal.

The principle is easy to understand, but very few actually apply it. Just take a look at other personals!

Simply, what you want is to stand out from the crowd.

In the business world, we talk about unique selling proposition: what is your proposition. What makes it unique?

I also added the term positive - some dudes indeed distinguish themselves by acting like psycho.

So before going any further, you want to answer this question: What makes you positively unique?

Only you can answer this question. So you might want to invest some time doing some introspection. That's really what's going to do the difference.

Finally - and this is valid for both writing and responding to personals - do not try to portray a character. It will backward on you once you're on a date if you cannot live up to the virtual persona you created.

And remember! An answer is not the end of the game but rather a transition. You want to go on the phone asap and then arrange a date.

Personal ads - both online and off by the way - are a never-ending dating pool of prospects, so be honest to find the best match possible! Use them for practice - or to find true love.

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